Recently a THE MICHAEL REPORT correspondent sat down with Dede "Tree Man" for an exclusive interview. The Tree Man has never been interviewed or filmed before by any other news outlet. A portion of the interview is contained below:
Covered in root-like nasty scab things, Dede enters the interview room and sits down on the chair provided.
TMR: Mr Tree Man, it's nice to meet you, thank you for agreeing to leave the enchanted forest to speak with us.
Tree: Ok.
TMR: Let's start with how you got your name.
Tree: Well, I look exactly like a tree, I guess.
TMR: And "Dede" means tree? Is that elvish or something?
Tree: What?
TMR: How was it working with Peter Jackson and the hobbits?
Tree: Ummm
TMR: My favorite is the part where you are throwing the boulders at the tower with the bad wizard in it. And then that other tree man is lit on fire and is all running around. That part is HILARIOUS.
Tree: I'm not sure I know what you're talking about.
TMR: I hear you've been offered a position as the new spokesman for the US Forest Service. Do you feel at all intimidated taking the place of Smokey the Bear? As a tree, I'm sure you feel very strongly about preventing forest fires.
Tree: I'm not a real tree.
TMR: Like you're actually a shrub or something?
Tree: Ok, I think I'm done here.
True to form Tree Man "Dede" was elusive and mysterious in our interview. We will probably never know what, exactly, makes the Tree Man tick, but one thing is certain: that dude is freaking nasty looking.
AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA!! Mike, omg, this was good writing.
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