Woman Gives Birth to Cute Baby Elephant

According to sources at The Daniel Report, a Michigan woman gave birth to a cute baby elephant in her two wombs this week.  The chances of a human being giving birth to an elephant are slim, experts say.  One physician questioned put the chances at, "zero".

News of the birth has raised questions on the ethics of fertility treatments.  Should the federal government really be paying for trans-species births in the US?  It is the opinion of the Michael Report that funding should only be provided for humans giving birth to humans.  Opponents of this viewpoint contend that a mother can love her elephant or giraffe child as much as she could a human.  The Michael Report believes that it is government's duty to protect the definition of "birth" as existing between a mother and her SAME SPECIES child.  If we enlarge the legal rights of a mother to include children from another species what would stop people from adopting their televisions or staplers?  

The Michael Report appreciates that animal children are born the way they are and there is nothing they can do to become human.  Proponents of human therapy programs have yet to be very successful in humanizing their patients.  The Michael Report also has no doubt that human parents can love their non-human offspring very much, but a line must be drawn.  Should a mother be able to visit her child at the veterenarian's office or claim it as a dependent on income taxes?

There is much debate to come regarding trans-species births.  Funds used on trans-species births would be more useful in research on bulletproof weave research and developing male brazier technologies.  Until more is known about the effects of humans parenting elephants it is most safe to protect the status quo and deny legal recognition to the parental rights of humans and cute baby elephants.